Do child predators bamboozle you? Is the headline from an email I received this morning from Yello Dyno.

“We’ve been bamboozled long enough. The old saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ has become the social norm, much to the delight of child predators.”—The Yello Dyno email continues.

Yes, I agree we have been bamboozled long enough by predators—and society is also being bamboozled by Yello Dyno. Yello Dyno’s focus regarding child sexual abuse looks at the sexual child abuse predator outside the family. This is totally misleading. Studies reveal that 80% of children, who are sexually abused, are abused by a family member; 19% are abused by people the child knows and trusts.

Yello Dyno techniques will help children who are targeted by a known person outside the family. However, the majority of children are being sexually abused by a family member. Government statistics report that only 1% of children, who are sexually abused, are abused by a stranger—however, that is what the media reports. Thus, the media is contributing to bamboozling society.

ABC Dateline reporter, Chris Hansen has presented a series, “To Catch a Predator.” Using decoys acting as a minor on the Internet Instant Messaging system predators are lured to a house where a decoy is waiting and the Dateline hidden camera crew is recording the event, while police watch nearby waiting to arrest the predator as soon as the predator has entered the house and learned from Chris Hansen that it is a set-up.

May 22, 2006, the 109th Congress 2nd session declared June as Internet Safety Month. Recently, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and Cox Communication released a highly disturbing survey of youth between 13 and 17 years old about their use of the Internet.

• 4 percent of the children questioned have had face-to-face meetings with people they met on the Internet. One teen meeting a stranger is one too many.
• 30 percent said they have considered meeting someone face-to-face who they know only through the Internet.
• 71 percent reported receiving messages online from someone they didn’t know.
• 45 percent said they have been asked for personal information.

The list of tips for parents to protect their child on the Internet implies a predator could reach through the Computer screen and pull the child into an abyss.

The best tip to protect your child from any would-be child Internet predator is to provide them with the love, nurturing, guidance, connectedness and time they need to thrive in life. Children who have high self-esteem and strong family connections seldom are lured by a predator. The guidance they need regarding Internet conversations, no matter the web site is the same as when a stranger calls on the phone or rings the doorbell.

• Never tell a stranger on the Internet any personal information—the same as NEVER telling anyone on the phone that they are home alone or reveal any identifying information.
• Never trust a stranger on the Internet no matter how kind or friendly they seem to be—or if they tell you, “I know your Mom/Dad.”
• Never meet an Internet friend (stranger)—the same as NEVER opening the door to a stranger or getting in a strangers car.

I am baffled that many parents argue against what I am saying when I speak at teachers’ conferences, PTO meetings, day care centers and pediatricians’ offices. “That will never happen in my family or my neighborhood.”—they argue. They seem to only believe the neighborhoods on the other side of town are vulnerable to sex offenders. Studies reveal sex offenders are from all professions and economic status.

When will the majority come out of its well-guarded denial and stop Pedophiles/Ephebophiles from proliferating. Incarcerating sex offenders after the damage is done does little to stop the crime. The majority of sex offenders get out of jail in four years—85% re-offend. Not to mention the majority of sex offenders are in the family. We need to change the approach to stopping this insidious crime.

Stopping this crime begins at home. www.gen-assist.com

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, “If I’d Only Known…Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life’s challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

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D. Corwin (1990) cites that in London many believed that sexual ‘congress’ with a child would cure venereal disease. Of capital rape prosecutions between 1730 and 1729, 25% of the cases involved victims younger than 10 years old.

62% of females are sexually abused by age 18. Finkelhor, David and J. Dziuba-Leatherman. “Victimization of Children.” American Psychologist Vol. 49:3 (1992): 173-183.
1896 in The Aetiology of Hysteria, Freud discusses his “Seduction Theory” acknowledging the sexual abuse and incest of children.

31% of males are sexually abused by age 18. Ibid.

More than 60 million adult survivors of incest and sexual child abuse live in America. *Note these are only reported cases. It is believed as great as 50% of sexual child abuse is unreported. Forward, 1993

99% of sexual abuse survivors know their perpetrators-80% are abused by family members, 19% are abuse by other trusted adults. CCPA, 1992

Of 50 male sexual abuse survivors, many were as young as 8 years old. FBI Uniform Crime Report, 1991.

96% of female rape survivors were younger than 12 years old and knew their attackers. U.S. Department of Justice, 1992.

A study of 10,000 female children under age 18 raped in 1992, reports that 3,800 girls were under 12 years old. U.S. Justice Department, study conducted in 11 states and the District of Columbia, June 1994.

Of teenage, unwed mothers, 60-67% were incest survivors. Los Angeles Times survey, 1993

96% of teenage prostitutes were sexually molested in childhood. CCPA, 1992. Almost 80% had become prostitutes before age 18. Ibid. *60% of prostitutes were 16 or under; many were younger than 13. Ibid.

Over 80% of the mothers of incest survivors were also sexually abused.

57% of sexual child abuse and incest perpetrators are survivors of sexual child abuse. Goldstein-Harte Study 1973: Carter, et al.

A sexual child abuse perpetrator (a.k.a. sex offender) abuses an average of 117 children. National Institute of Mental Health, 1988.

Extensive evidence substantiates the fact that sexual child abuse has taken place for centuries.

In the U.S. in 2000 over 3 million child abuse and neglect reports were filed and one million were confirmed. There are 3,000 children abused each day and four of them will die. Forty % of these children were under the age of six. The age group with the highest abuse rate is 0-3 years. Nationally the highest form of abuse is neglect followed by physical abuse. In March of 2001 when President Bush declared April National Child Abuse Prevention Month he stated the cost of child abuse and neglect in the U.S. was $258 million dollars a day. This includes the price of intervention, the treatment of children who have been emotionally, physically or sexually abused as well as the indirect costs of the long term consequences both for the child and our society. Prevent Child Abuse America.
In 2000, there were 261,000 victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault. [2000 National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics.] Of these 261,000, 114,000 were victims of sexual assault, 55,000 were victims of attempted rape, and 92,000 were victims of completed rape. [2000 NCVS.]

An estimated 906,000 children were victims of abuse and neglect in 2003 (cases substantiated by child protective service agencies).1

In 2003, 48.3 percent of child victims were male; 51.7 percent of victims were female. 83.9 percent of victims were abused by a parent. 40.8% of child victims were maltreated by their mothers acting alone; another 18.8 percent were maltreated by their fathers acting alone; 16.9 percent were abused by both parents.1

Types of maltreatment included:1

Neglect (including medical neglect) 61%

Physical Abuse 19%

Sexual Abuse 10% (90,600 children)

Psychological Maltreatment 5%

Medical Maltreatment 2%

Other* 17%

1U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Child Maltreatment 2003 (Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 2005). Online summary: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/publications/cm03/index.htm/

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, author, If I’d Only Known…Sexual Abuse in or out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, is noted for her pioneering work in verbal, physical and sexual abuse prevention and recovery. http://www.gen-assist.com

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Child abuse protection is important for any child that is subjected to neglect, physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse. This article deals primarily with neglect. Of course there is overlap with the other forms of abuse but neglect is probably the most hidden and often the most difficult one to assess and understand.

Even seemingly good parents can be neglecting there children in one way or another even if they have loving intent. Take for example recent cases involving the death of children because their parents believed God is in control and therefore all they needed to do was to pray. Even though these parents were attending to what they saw was the need of the child because of their misdirected thinking they were in effect neglecting their child. It was imperative for them to receive adequate medical attention for their child.

There are numerous signs of child abuse that may be coming from a child and those working with children need to be perceptive to these signs. These signs can include the physical appearance of a child. The child may be of low weight indicating that they are not receiving adequate nourishment enabling them to thrive and develop. Their complexion and hair texture may be poor. They look tired and worn out. It is important to look for signs such as untreated physical problems, a baby may have severe nappy rash and urine scalds. Older children may have untreated sores and dental decay.

When considering if a child is being neglected it is important to look at their standard of hygiene. Children need to take proper care of themselves and therefore as children grow they learn elementary hygiene practices such as washing their hands and other parts of their body. Children should not be going through garbage seeking food or other basic products.

The behaviour of children is often telling. Neglected children often seek out the attention of an older person. Their behaviour could be self injurious including such bahaviour as rocking, sucking, head banging etc. A child may avoid going to school and may isolate themselves from other activities as well. Poor school attendance may indicate that a parent is not at home properly supervising a child at the beginning of a day. On the other hand a child might want to linger at school rather than go home. They may be found in other public places or they may be going to the homes of their friends and acquaintances

An area of neglect which may appear contradictory is that of a parent who is harsh and unreasonable in the discipline of their child. Parents can sometimes have high expectations of their children and may over discipline them for trivial matters. The reason why this becomes neglect is that these parents are neglecting to provide a warm caring environment for their child. Frequently in these circumstances children become rebellious and in need of child abuse protection because of the troubles they get themselves in to. Of course this is not an easy issue because it is so very difficult for many parents to gain the balance between child discipline and allowing children to become independent and self reliant.

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