I was recently asked if it is true that everyone must have a ‘rebound’ relationship, one that helps restore confidence but is short lived. I replied that I didn’t think there had to be a rebound relationship, although it is quite common.

For some people a rebound relationship is just what they need (as long as they are aware that is what it is). A fun, ‘no ties’ relationship which will help to reassure them they are attractive and fun to be with while not committing themselves to settling down again. As long as both parties are aware this is all it is no one gets hurt. A rebound relationship can be great fun, you get to experience new things and feel good about yourself. However, if only one of you is aware it is a ‘fling’ some one can get hurt and that’s not fair. Make sure you’re both aware of the level of commitment you are offering. If the other person seems to be taking it more seriously you must explain how you feel and break it off before they get hurt.

For some people a ‘fling’ is something they would never be comfortable with and that’s fine too. It’s OK to take things slowly, get to know someone well before making any commitment or having a sexual relationship. If someone is serious about you they will respect your feelings as long as you make it clear what they are!

In any relationship you do need to talk about what you want.

If you are unsure about how to develop a new relationship there are a few questions you can ask yourself:

What will happen if I do?
What will happen if I don’t?
What won’t happen if I do?
What won’t happen if I don’t?
What is the worst that can happen?
What am I looking for in a new relationship?”

As you may know from my previous articles and blogs, I do believe you should learn to love yourself before you try to love anyone else. So do spend some time alone, learning about yourself and what you want from life.

Everyone is different and will find love at a different pace and in a different way. Some may actively look for love by using internet dating, speed dating or dating ‘clubs’. Others may meet people by taking up new hobbies, learning new skills or joining dance classes or sports clubs. Others meet by accident at parties or even in a bus queue (yes, I do know someone who met a boyfriend this way).

It doesn’t matter how long it takes or how you meet them as long as it feels right for you.

Annie O’Neill has been widowed and divorced but now enjoys a very happy relationship with her husband, David with whom she is celebrating her 10th wedding anniversary this year.

Because of her understanding of the difficulties involved in the breakdown of a long-term relationship Annie set up New Horizons Divorce Coaching in May 2006, having qualified as a Personal Life Coach and NLP Practitioner earlier that year.

Annie has a website http://www.newhorizons-divorcecoaching.co.uk and a blog http://lifeafterdivorce.wordpress.com/

Annie lives in Reading, Berkshire, UK and is often asked to appear on BBC Radio Berkshire as a local divorce expert.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Annie_O’Neill
http://EzineArticles.com/?Loving-Again-After-Divorce&id=2785888

If you’re going through a divorce and you have children, the chances are good that they are your biggest concern throughout the proceedings. After all, you want to be a good parent, and you want what’s best for them. And you want them to be as large a part of your life as possible. You may even be concerned about whether you or your spouse will be getting custody of the children. It’s understandable to be worried.

There are a lot of factors that go into determining which spouse will wind up being the custodial parent of the children. But first, it’s important to understand the two types of custody, how they differ, and what your rights are.

When people talk about having custody of the kids, they’re usually talking about physical custody. That is, where do the kids live. But there’s actually another kind of custody, which is equally important – especially if you’re the parent who doesn’t have physical custody. The other kind of custody is legal custody, which describes the right of a parent to help make decisions involving the child’s well-being: where the child goes to school, the religion the child is raised in, medical treatment for the child, and so on. In almost all divorces, both parents are granted legal custody.

Deciding Physical Custody

There are a number of factors that a judge takes into consideration when he or she is determining which parent will get physical custody, including:

• How old the children are.
• The considerations of the parents, to a certain extent.

• The nature of the relationship between each parent and the children. If a child has a bad relationship with one of the parents, that parent is less likely to get custody.

• The health of the parents, both in terms of physical health and mental health.

• Which parent provided the bulk of care for the child up to the point of the divorce.

• The ability of each parent to provide a healthy, stable long-term home for the children.

• The ability of the children to adjust to a move, assuming the parent is moving.

• The opinion of the children, depending on how old the children are.

• Whether allegations of abuse have been levied against one or both of the parents.

These are just a few of the many different aspects by which the court determines physical custody. If you would like to know more about divorce law, visit westpalmbeach-divorcelawyer.com.

Joseph Devine

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joseph_Devine
http://EzineArticles.com/?Factors-in-Determining-Physical-Custody&id=2800642

1- Do not contact your ex-husband unless you have a topic related to the children.

You no longer have a relationship with this person, except that he is the father of your children. Asking for assistance with household repairs, or even just talking about your day- is no longer acceptable.

2- Keep contact to a minimum

One phone call a day is excessive, several text messages a day is extremely excessive. If you have a subject related to the kids- speak briefly and clearly about your expectations. Emails are better than phone calls, if your issue is not an emergency.

3- Do not speak negatively about your ex-husband in front of the children.

It doesn’t make you look better in front of the kids, and it does not help with the co-parenting relationship you have with your ex. Children are confused by negative talk and should not be trapped in the middle of your marital issues.

4- Don’t send messages to your ex-husband through the kids

Your children have been through some major changes- mom and dad not living together, divorce, and now visitation back and forth between the houses. They do not need to be involved in adult discussions or arguments.

5- Don’t question the kids about their activities when they return from a visit with their father.

Children are very suspicious of this and wonder what they are supposed to say. They wonder if it’s O.K. to have fun at Dad’s house. You want your children to have a positive relationship with their Daddy, and want them to feel that they don’t have to “report back” all the activity going on in his house. It’s O.K. to ask them if they had a good time over the weekend, and then smile and say, “great” after their brief response. Move on to another topic, immediately after the question, so that the kids know it’s O.K. to have enjoyed the time, and that you’re not being nosy about their Dad.

6-Work together with your ex-spouse to coordinate a visitation schedule for the kids.

Let your ex know if there are any changes to your schedule, as soon as possible. Emergencies will arise (for both parties) but planning ahead allows both parents to care for the kids as best as possible.

7-Don’t sabotage family events at your ex’s house.

You may be considering planning a huge meal to serve to your kids right before dropping them off for Thanksgiving dinner at your ex’s house, or bringing them to their Daddy’s house, late, so that they miss an important event scheduled for them. You may think these tactics hurt your ex, but in reality, you are only hurting your own children. Step back, and remember to do what’s best for your kids.

8-Don’t speak negatively about your ex’s new partner

This is the person who will help raise your children. This person is caring for your children when they are at their Dad’s house.

9-Choose a new partner that loves your kids

Now that you’re a parent, you can’t just marry someone for your own needs, but also someone who will be a great parent to your kids. Make sure this person is willing to devote time to get to know, love and help you care for your kids.

10-Don’t ask for extra funds, in addition to child support

You and your ex-spouse have a separation agreement that discusses custody, visitation, allocation of assets and child support. You signed this agreement and agreed it was fair and reasonable. Do not ask your ex for additional funds now that this agreement is finalized.

Some of these rules sound pretty tough, but remember to focus on your kids. This isn’t about trying to hurt your spouse or “get even” – your goal should be to do what’s best for your children.

Shirley Cress Dudley is a licensed professional counselor with a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling, and a master’s degree in Education. She has a passion for helping blended families grow strong and be successful. Sign up for our Free newsletter and receive a Free Report, Ten Top Mistakes You Can Make with your Blended Family, http://www.BlendedFamilyAdvice.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shirley_Cress_Dudley
http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Rules-For-Divorced-Moms&id=2750963