First, congratulations on completing your college degree! I’m impressed with the determination, drive and hard work you have demonstrated during your college days. Good job!

Every day marks the beginning of the next day of your life but there are certain days that represent major milestones. This is one of them. You are now faced with an almost infinite number of choices as you look forward to whatever you’ll be doing and wherever you’ll be going next. There is no right or wrong path to take in life, as all journeys can be great ones. It is you who’ll ultimately determine how interesting, fulfilling and rewarding the journey is, not the road you take.

Having said that I encourage you to take some risks, especially early on in life when you perhaps have more flexibility, and consider exploring different directions and ventures that may not be so obvious and common. If your ambition is to be like everyone else – nothing wrong with that – then you should follow the conventional path in life. If you want to try something different you have to throw conventional wisdom out the window and take what most people would characterize as risks or even irresponsible choices. This could be anything from spending a couple of years working somewhere in China, starting your own company, joining a sub-Saharan help organization, going to grad school in New Zealand, joining a two year long oceanic expedition or working in Switzerland or Norway for a few years. The list is endless.

Life is made up of a lot of small journeys and you want to strive to make them as enjoyable, interesting and rewarding as possible. When you embark on a journey you never know what will happen along the way and where it’ll end up, which, at least to me, is incredibly fascinating. Regardless of the path you choose I know you’ll be fine. But try to pursue something you really want to do although it is not always easy to know what that is. One piece of advice: never let money be the primary motivator for what you decide to do. Success is not measured by your job, your education, how much money you have or what kind of car you drive. Success is determined by who you are and how you lead your life.

I could spend a lot of time providing advice but I’m sure you’ll figure it all out along the way, which is the way life is. But I’ll share a few things that I have found of great help and could perhaps have done more of during certain parts of my life:

-Treat all people with respect and be nice to everyone – no exceptions
-Always maintain the integrity of your personal character – it defines who you are
-Have lots of good friends and actively cultivate your friendships
-Don’t expect too much from others – expect a lot from yourself
-Do what is right even if it is difficult – it is always tempting to take the path of least resistance
-Don’t worry about the past or about things you can’t affect – it only makes you miserable
-Never criticize and complain – it doesn’t require skills, intelligence or experience
-You have more power and abilities than you think you have – yes, you can move mountains
-Do more than expected at work, at home – don’t expect pats on your back – rewards will eventually come
-Never be afraid to tell the truth even if it is bad news – hiding problems only make them worse
-Be an independent thinker and make up your own mind – lead, don’t follow
-All relationships require lots of work from both parties – it’s never easy – mutual trust and respect is key
-Stay healthy
-And remember: life is too important to be taken seriously

I could go on and on but enough preaching. I know you’ll figure it all out.

Again, great job on your degree and enjoy your journeys in life!

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Financing your Family

To provide for your family during times of Recession means having a secure job or business that is lasting to provide a long term consistent income. It is true that these days family financing is now a shared responsibility. Gone are those days where only men endured the labor of bringing money for the family. Working from home and flexible working are some of the ways that have speedily grown to create family financial stability. Some families, the roles have even been swapped; more men are increasingly accepting the role of staying at home to look after children while women go to work. Thanks to Affirmative Action and Equal Opportunities policies for recognizing the value of women to successful workforce.

Bonding with your child

It is important and essential to develop a bond that creates a life-long evolving relationship that must be continually nurtured and cherished. Creating a close-knit family can only develop the child-father relationship into an admirable adult friendship over the years. This may be a foreign concept to many, because children often view their fathers in the same light as they did when they were children. However, times change, and as children grow into independent adults, their relationships with fathers should grow too. Engaging in down on the floor “rough and tumble play” with your growing baby or child play an especially important role in developing kids growing social skills.

Stimulation

Stimulate your baby wisely. Appropriate stimulation of your baby’s brain ensures optimal development of all the important areas of development; motor development, cognitive development, emotional development, sleeps routine or habits and diet or nutrition habits. Listening to music is one way to enhance your baby’s brain power.

The benefits of routine

Having a day-to-day routine that works for your baby and the rest of your household is very important and has benefits. The consistency and predictability of a routine gives your baby a sense of security and will help settle your child’s behavior when they start school. Routine will also help you feel more in control of things, and help you to balance work and home allowing you to spend quality time with your family. Children appreciate a sense of being valued and they will grow to learn that daddy is consistently in their lives no matter what they do.

Communication with your child

Positive two-way communication is essential to building your growing child’s self-esteem. Who think babies cannot communicate sense? Babies are well capable of letting their needs known. Crying is a sign of discomfort and wanting something to satisfy needs such as hunger, nappy change, nap time, etc. Communicating and expressing age appropriate conversations with your baby not only will it make it fun. It will strengthen your skills to communicate difficult and sensitive issues transparently when your child goes through teenage stages.

To learn more: http://www.growchild.com

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I recently found myself on YouTube marveling at a video of Hawaiian youth soccer prodigy KJ Ahlo’s morning routing. In the opening frame, you see him sleeping with about a dozen soccer balls. The first thing he does when he wakes up is kick one of them. As he walks to his bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for the day, he kicks another one of the many soccer balls strewn on his floor.

We can learn a lot as fathers from that small clip. We may not know what KJ is thinking, but we can see that he’s keeping his mind on soccer. And if you keep watching the video or venture into any of the clips on YouTube of KJ playing with kids twice his size and age, you can see that it pays off. You can’t help thinking: “how does he do that?”

Our path to being the best father we can be is the same – the more we keep our mind on being available to our children, the more we will become the father we envision for our children. When we surround ourselves with inspiring images or thoughts about fatherhood, they will seep into our minds and bodies until one day we look at ourselves in the mirror and see a great father.

Like an athlete, there is something that we already have that we can build on. It may be the ability to teach our child something, a commitment to care-giving that goes beyond traditional models, or the ability to be patient and gentle under difficult circumstances. Whatever it is, we can nurture it constantly by going to sleep with it, waking up with it, and walking through our day with it. When we do that, we find that it’s not so much that we are building ourselves up to be a loving father, but that we are removing all resistance to unleashing the loving father that already exists within ourselves. Like KJ, we just keep at it until people look at what we do with our children and ask: “how does he do that?”

Right now, pick up a pen and write three things about yourself that you would put on a list of the characteristics of a great father. You can even make them into statements, such as: “I recognize the importance of getting along with my spouse,” or, “I love my daughter even when she is throwing a temper tantrum.” Then put them somewhere where you can see them at least 4 to 5 times a day. I like to enlarge them and tape them on the ceiling right above where I sleep. I guarantee that you will see a shift in your awareness of how these traits make a positive impact on your relationship with your son or daughter.

P.S. Don’t forget to check out KJ’s morning routine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9S5BkkjjgU.

Lome Aseron helps dads on the journey of fatherhood through workshops and one-on-one coaching. Recognizing that fatherhood is a personal journey for fathers as well as their children, Lome strives to balance the more traditional responsibilities of bread-winner with newer models of father as care-giver. For free resources and more information about how to be the best dad you can be, go to http://www.newdadforlife.com.

Copyright (c) 2009 Lome Aseron

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